As she was thinking, Yue Er walked in from outside.
"What are you thinking about, mother? You’re so lost in thought!"
Xia Ruqing was startled.
"You scared me, you girl!"
"How come you walk without making a sound?"
Yue Er sat next to her with a smile.
"It’s just that you’re too deep in thought to hear anything!"
Xia Ruqing called for someone to cut some fresh fruits and brought out a few pastries before asking.
"Why are you here today? Are your brothers doing well?"
Yue Er happily ate while grumbling.
"Mother, you ask about brother the moment we meet. Why don’t you ask how I’m doing?"
Xia Ruqing couldn’t help but tap her forehead with a smile.
"Aren’t you standing here well right in front of me? Why would I ask?"
"So young, and already learning to hold grudges!"
Yue Er giggled, crumbs from the pastries on her lips, and snuggled next to her.
"It’s just that mother always overlooks me!"
Xia Ruqing affectionately hugged her daughter, protesting.
"You little heartless thing, when have I ever ignored you?"
"It’s your brothers who haven’t visited me in days, especially your eldest brother!"
"The last time he came was half a month ago, and even then, he was in a hurry, not even staying for a proper conversation!"
As the Crown Prince, Zhao Qichen has much to attend to.
Especially now that Zhao Junyao is getting older, his memory not as sharp as it used to be, requiring frequent reminders and assistance.
On one hand, there are state affairs to handle, and on the other, he must continue his studies and martial training in horseback archery.
It’s easy to imagine how busy and tiring Chenchen’s life must be.
Yue Er tilted her head, thinking.
"In that case, I’ll tell eldest brother to come and keep company with you later, okay?"
Xia Ruqing quickly waved her hand.
"There’s nothing special about my company. Don’t let it waste his time!"
"If he truly has time, tell him to rest well and take care of his health!"
Yue Er nodded obediently.
"Understood, mother!"
"Don’t worry about it!"
She thought for a while and continued.
"Mother, please don’t worry!"
"Father said he used to go through the same; also said that as a man, one should stand firm and upright!"
"My eldest brother is almost twenty now, he can stand firm!"
Xia Ruqing laughed.
"Good!"
"I won’t worry!"
In her heart, though, she couldn’t help but sigh.
’Time flies so fast; in the blink of an eye, Chenchen is almost twenty!’
’I’ve also been in the palace for over twenty years!’
’Over twenty years! How many twenty years does one have in a lifetime?’
Touching her daughter’s tender cheeks, her gaze drifted outside the window.
Late spring and early summer, withered flowers scattered, and lush green trees filled much of Duanning Palace’s courtyard.
Flower beds, alongside the pebble paths, bamboo groves, and outside the glazed pavilions, everything in Duanning Palace was so clean and exquisite.
Birds occasionally flitted between the trees, their shadows dancing on the intricately carved window lattices; every scene, every frame, every sound and movement was so beautiful.
All this showcased the luxury brought by imperial power and status.
And she, in this grand and elegant place, had lived for over twenty years.
From her initial insignificance to now holding the reins of the harem, her journey was one of complete bitterness and sweetness as sweet as honey.
That emperor above all, that loving emperor-husband of hers, gave her everything, shielding her from storms, taking her under his wing, carefully protecting her for over twenty years.
Saying she wasn’t touched would be a lie.
But if she really had to describe herself as lucky or unlucky, she couldn’t pinpoint it.
After all, not truly belonging here, after all... she still preferred that civilized and fair twenty-first century, but the reality is... she’s starting to forget what that place looked like.
She faintly remembered skyscrapers, bustling traffic, gender equality, and monogamy.
But she couldn’t recall much more.
She couldn’t help but start worrying.
If her life ends and she really gets to return, can she adapt?
"Mother?"
Yue Er called her twice.
"Why are you lost in thought again?"
Xia Ruqing quickly snapped out of it, meeting her daughter’s disapproving yet resigned gaze.
She awkwardly smiled.
"Sorry, mother was just thinking, what did you say?"
Yue Er, a bit worried, touched her forehead.
"Are you alright, mother?"
"The way you are now, I’m a bit worried!"
Xia Ruqing chided.
"Don’t speak nonsense, what’s there to worry about!"
"Where were we in our conversation?"
Yue Er turned back to answer.
"We were talking about how hard my eldest brother works and that you’re worried about him!"
"Ah!"
The little girl sighed.
"Indeed, my eldest brother works really hard!"